I have to introduce you to one of my favorite songs. I loved it before the stroke, now, it has a whole new meaning to me. (Big time!) He wrote it about a heart patient that was repaired, but her heart was still not beating. The doctor told her, “Its all up to you now.”
Well personally, the doctors are still scratching their heads about my stroke. They don’t know why it happened to me, and they have no prognosis for my recovery. Its all up to me whether I progress. It has left me “shattered in a thousand pieces on the floor.” I truly wonder if I “will get back to you that used to be.” Maybe it will be a different version of me. I know I will be a person possessing a different viewpoint. (Holy cow, I’ve learned a lot!) “Beginning” is something I hope I have done as I started rehab, and when I started wearing real clothes. I love the part, ‘Its alright now, love’s healing hands have pulled you through.” It’s so true. My stalward visitors have kept me going, and added to my convictions that I will get better. ‘Cuz your story’s far from over, and your journey’s just begun…” I want to read ahead on my story. What’s ahead for me? I know I’m excited to be a doting grandma someday, and I have joyous weddings left to create. I also have a long list of hobbies I hope to pursue and expand upon someday. “Let every heartbreak and every scar be a picture that reminds you who has carried you this far…” My testimony has metamorphosed to be larger by leaps and bounds. I truly believe your faith can “pull you through” wonderfully good and difficultly horrible times. A friend I met through Missionary Moms wisely told me that your trach scar is an “Angel Kiss.” It a badge of long fought survival. (I guess that’s what you could call it. I would really call it a big pain.) Lastly the part that really hits me deeply, “At this moment heaven’s working, everything for your good.” Wow, to think that I am being cared for by heavenly beings! That is humbling. I do see tender mercies throughout this experience. They didn’t just happen randomly! The main message of this song boils down to: I gotta go on with life, forget about the past. (That’s easier said than done!) This is one of those times when the teacher learns more while preparing the lesson. It is good to hear and then verbalize my rich blessings when it seems so dark. I feel His love. I will step into the light. And I will let the light lead me and guide me.
Please listen, you won’t regret it.