High Highs and Low Lows

December 1st will always be remembered as the ultimate rollercoster of emotions for me and my family. Our first grandchild was born. He came naturally on November 30th in the middle of the night. (My babies always wanted to come in the middle of the night!) So we hurried over the next morning, shortly after he was born, to cast our eyes on the most perfect newborn baby, with flowing red hair. (I’m a little biased. But it’s no lie, he is absolutely adorable!) As we reluctantly tore ourselves away from the happy couple and the just-hatched peanut, my husband called his mom with the exciting news.


She was not in good shape due to metastatic cancer and kidney failure, and she was currently under at-home hospice care. (The home was my sister in-law’s. I appreciate her patience, love, and the unwavering care she and her family showed my mother in-law.) Even though his mother was weak, she congratulated us. Just about ten minutes later we got a call back from his sister. She told us immediately after his mother received the glorious news of the baby’s arrival, she passed away. Heart hitting the floor. We went from a top-of-the-world high to a bottom-of-the-sea low in under an half an hour! (Chills)

I’ve been to a professional basketball game that was a buzzer beater. The excited crowd instantaneously lost all their energy when their team lost at the final bell. It was a lot like that.

But worse.

What do you do when all air goes out of your balloon?

You eat. 

My husband and I were hungry and torn, so we went to a deafeningly quiet Chinese lunch. We did finally talk about the baby, Christmas, the house, and tried to avoid the heartbreaking elephant in the room that we didn’t want to discuss. (There was no sad elephant in the restaurant. It’s only an expression!)

She was like my second mother. (I lucked out in the mother in-law department.) 

I believe, without our faith we could have been two piles of mush. But we both know, even though we will miss her, she has graduated on to a better place. Christ made it possible for us to see her again. Little baby Asher posesses a new guardian angel. Heaven was at maximum capacity, so they traded places. (Who knows, I could be right?)

We need to celebrate. 

Celebrate a wonderful life that was lived, and a new life yet to be lived. We must find a way to celebrate in spite of what life throws our way. That is how I am making sense of it. 

Just celebrate. No matter what.

What a wonderful daughter to care for her in her last days!

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