Coming Home

The day has finally arrived. After over sixteen long months in many hospitals and care facilities, I am going home. (I asked my husband how long it had been, and told me instantly to the minute! 16 months, 10 days, 18 hours, and 37 minutes!) It is a bittersweet time in my life. So many friends were made along the road. They have brightened my dreary facility existence, and I will treasure their kindness. This experience has strengthened my faith in the goodness of mankind as so many great and small acts of love have been directed towards me and my family. (Wow! Seriously, it’s incredibly humbling and overwhelming!) My family have been troopers through all this, they have defined hard work and loyalty.

I can’t say it’s been all peaches and cream, this is not a life experience I would wish on my worst enemy! (Come to think of it, I don’t have any enemies!) Being alone is not so fun, obviously. I’m used to the quiet now. My pain level has been astonishingly low. My only complaint would be occasional headaches, body weakness, frequent motion sickness, and the general waiting for help from others to do mundane everyday things.

My goals for the future include, well yeah, finishing the addition to the house, well at least supervising (IE: nagging.) After the completion of the flooring, tile, and countertops, it will be quite a process to move back in. My husband and kids (along with a few professionals) have worked very hard, and I appreciate all they do! (What a sacrifice, for little old me!) Apart from living in construction for awhile, we’re living in a hoarder’s nightmare. (Just kidding, it’s not that bad! No varmits or trash, my family works hard to avoid that! Don’t call child services on us, we have a few livable rooms in our house!) It’s hard to move out of a bunch of rooms while you renovate, but I carry a magnificent picture in my mind of a sparkling, new, complete bedroom, bathroom, closet, laundry, and office. When I (we) have moved everything back in, I want to get a table vise and begin creating jewelry again. (We’ll see how that goes!) I also think I can take over the laundry with help of a few tools. Bookkeeping could also be on the horizon. I have become a very proficient one hand typist.

We are sleeping in what will be the closet until we get blinds and doors!

Aides will come into the home to help. That will be a welcomed relief for my husband! My many hours of daily rehab will continue as therapists will also visit, and we will occasionally make the trek into Aquaworks in town. I figure I will eventually thaw out, walk and use my arm again. That’s my plan. (Cross your fingers!)

I was watching Music and the Spoken Word today. The narrator said, “As the new year begins, we should take this time to evaluate this past year, make necessary adjustments, then move on with a new brightness of hope.” This new year, for me, welcomes a new chance for improvement and restarting my life as wife, mom, and grandma again. Getting back to life, a better life, is my goal. I hope this drawn out and unwelcomed experience will make me a better person. 

I know now, what life’s all about. 

Love, family, kindness, selflessness, and a positive attitude. 

I love the blue wall in the office!

My wish is that you don’t have to go through the refiner’s fire yourselves to learn those truths. (It’s hot in there!)

This is looking into the future big beautiful white marble bathroom. Pictures of the finished rooms to come, hopefully in a month!

Dry Spell

Have you ever had a time when you’re mind is as dry as the desert sand? The same things happen day in and day out, and everything seems so dull. (Insert yawn.) You feel like Forrest Gump, when he says, “That’s all I have to say about that.” I feel unmotivated and uninspired. I’m sure one of these days I’ll have an “A-ha moment” when the light bulb will flip on, and I will hatch a stupendous thought. But for now I sit without an idea to put to pen. (I type, but you get the jist.)

We all have those spurts when nothing brilliant hits us. We experience the dulldrums. It’s difficult not to curl up in a ball, and take a day-long nap. Or we consume a whole carton of ice cream to forget the world for awhile. (Been there, done that.)

So how do we kick this blah feeling? The only thing I can think of is to stop thinking about ourselves. Like when President Gordon B. Hinkley quoted his father, “Forget yourself and go to work!” (I know it was used in a different context, but it can apply to my problem, too.) The way to “forget yourself” is to think of others, help others, get outside your own pity party. Step outside the box of self absorption. Volunteering is a great way to adandon your own cares, and you might just receive that inspiration you desire. 

Listen to your heart. The opportunity to make a difference is right there. (I don’t know if it’s your heart, your mind, or a bit of both. It could be something else.) I have numerous opportunities to serve, and I’m stuck in a rehab home. Think of what good you can do, out in the real world.

To sum it up, we all experience dry spells. But what will moisten those times is unselfish service and getting outside our own heads. (Nuff said. Kim out.)

The Monotony Funk – Feelings Friday 5/26/17

Times present themselves when the same-old monotonous days of your life become extremely tedious. You’re looped in a continuous funk. Drearily you think, “I can’t take much more of this.” Wondering to yourself, “How will I survive?” Each humdrum day runs into the next. I am neck-deep into that feeling right now. 

Here at Sunshine Terrace Rest Home, they excel at keeping to a schedule. Meals at the same time, meds at the same time, everything at the same time! They do offer activities, but the framework is pretty simple, catering to the predominant population. I am so past that. Last time I attended, I ended up babysitting one of the residents. (Glad I could help!) My day is filled with TV, iPad, therapy, eating, and showering. Rinse and repeat. (Pun intended.) Darin does give me a jailbreak occasionally. We get in the car and purchase a Woot Woot or Dracula (my favorite drinks,) and wander for a drive, or do needed grocery shopping with those driving carts. (Not the greatest, but it’s got to be done.) I am getting out! (So that’s good.) 

But… the next morning it starts all over again. Do you ever feel this way? I know you do. It feels like an insane copy machine gone wild. (Or like you are in Groundhog Day, the movie.)

The question is: What is the solution? Well, a vacation is the obvious choice. But only a ‘lucky few’ can actually get away. If you’re one of the ‘lucky few,’ good-on-ya! (An Australia congratulation.)

The next answer would be celebrating with an upcoming party, holiday, or special event. (Birthday, Christmas, or celebrated occasion.) Exciting days that you can look towards, create a life less boring. 

But there is one more conclusion. Do something nice for someone else! It could be big or small. Look outside yourself. Serving can get your endorphins pumping (because it feels so good,) thus your emotional state improves. Making someone elses day better, makes your own day better. Thus, it breaks the monotony and lets you survive another day. You aren’t expected to make a big production. Shopping is my therapy. (Yay, Amazon Prime!) But shopping for others needs can be even more fun. (If you can afford it!) Although, kindness doesn’t have to cost a dime. Make it a goal to compliment a complete stranger daily. (Easy peasy and such a warm fuzzy!) 

Just do something nice today! (I guarantee it’s a boredom buster.)

Miracles From Heaven – Movie Monday 5/15/17

I just saw this movie again yesterday, and I cried like a baby! (Not hard to do!) A young girl gets unexplainably sick. Her mom takes her to Boston to see a special doctor with no appointment. She is very sick and wishes for death. So she goes home to die. On a lark she climbs a large dead tree and accidentally falls inside. While she is inside she sees heaven, but she is sent back and healed completely! She understood and said, ‘Not everyone’s going to believe, it’s OK, they’ll get there when they get there.” 

I can relate to this movie. Some days I think maybe I will be healed unexplicably, and just jump out of bed and get things done. But another day goes by, and I don’t. (I can’t deny I’m still hoping!) But I know it is for many reasons. We are being taught patience and faith, and if I am just healed in a snap we will not be taught those lessons. (I am not just going to fall down a well and my eyes will uncross!) The mother said, “I am here to tell you that you are NOT alone. Miracles are God’s way of telling you that you are not alone.” I know how wonderful service feels. Even though me and my family are the ones being served, we are the vehicle for your emotional high and abundant blessings from helping others. I would rather be the server, but I will get that chance again.

The mother says “When this happened, we just didn’t understand.” (Uh, yeah I totally know that feeling!) But she saw the miracles that happened in connection to their situation. “We can live as if everyday is a miracle… Miracles are goodness… from strangers… to dear friends… who are there for us no matter what… Miracles are God and God’s love. But we now live as if every day is a miracle before us.” I see the many miracles in my life. (I think that’s why I cry so much!) I am most thankful for my mind and soul so I can understand, see, and appreciate what wonderful things I possess and what will unfold before me. (I know there is a lot!)

Lucky Blessing #7 – Friends

Lucky Blessing Challenge #7- Lucky Blessings are Steadfast Friends. 

Holy Cow, I have been so blessed with family and friends who have always been there for me! Everyone in my family and Darin’s family are my friends. That’s for sure! My ward has been also been so great us. Fresh meals, freezer meals, Dr. Pepper, cards, visits, farm chores, words of love, and so much more. Wow, they are all my compassionate friends. My work friends, at Jones Simkins, have gone out of their way to help me and my family with numerous kind acts. Great people! I have had so many visitors the workers at the rehab home have commented about how popular I am, no, I have exceptional people for friends! I really appreciate all those who have been rooting for me in person, at home, on Facebook and on gofundme. Will and determination have been shared with me, I have many shoulders I can figuratively lean on. (Above, is a poem I still remember from my childhood.) I am so incredibly blessed! Thank goodness for everyone who has given Christlike love. Don’t forget to appreciate your friends. It truly means the world to have wonderful people in your life!

Lucky Blessing #31 – Compassion

Lucky Blessing Challenge #31- The Last Lucky Blessing is Compassion. 

I think back on the last seven months since my stroke, and I get overwhelmed at the outpouring of love and compassion given in my name! (Don’t get me started…) I think of paying all the service forward (I have a lot of work to do! I better get off my rear, and get busy!) So many acts of selfless, charitable service. Some service was small and personally touching, (your comments mean a lot to me!) and other gifts were unbelievable massive! (Wow!) How do I possibly give thanks? President Monson once spoke about compassion (It was really insightful.) He said, “We have no way of knowing when our privilege to extend a helping hand will unfold before us.” Some angels are always willing and able to brighten another’s day. My favorite Bible story is a parable Jesus shared. It was about a man who was badly beaten (sound familiar?) and was passed up on the side of the road. Then the third man (who was from a unpopular culture) helps him way beyond what was asked of him. Jesus said, “Do likewise my friend.” (One of my favorite songs, look it up.) There have been many beyond count who were good samaritans to me and my family. Why? Because they had true compassion. Certain members of my family and special friends were faithfully by my side through the tough months when I was literally beaten down. Quite a few have gone way out of their way for me. (I’m not worthy. Thank you, thank you, thank you!) I have been so immensely blessed to be served with such great compassion, I would rather be the server. (Big time!)